Coming Home…


I am more reserved these days.

I tend to be a bit more quiet as I go about the day both in and outside my house. I always wanted a large piece of property that would be a safe haven for the weary traveler.. even if that traveler lived a town over.

I envisioned huge expanses of grass and trees and a border set way back from the road, barefoot on a field where trees and plants and things that grow are closest to my heart. This is when I am most able to make sense of the madness I see around me.

When I am not pulling back my hunting bow or striking in the bagpipes that is.

Those who know me, however, could not call me a tree-hugger I don’t believe, and if a three hundred year old oak means my loved ones not losing toes… its coming down. (My apologies for being real 🙂 )

These days though, as I look back on the convictions of my youth, my vigor, my ambitions.. my desires… a long exhale cannot be helped as I look around me. So many things are not what I had imagined.. so many things have changed.

I do not yet possess that “perfect” property, and work competes for the time I would most certainly rather be spending sitting around a cozy fire in my backyard with family, a cigar languidly transitioning between hand and mouth. The picture perfect conditions needed to assure my worldly rest are far from me. Even Christians must strive for this, the fallen system teaches and mandates.

But more than ever, His peace is upon me. I find the irony of this… amusing.

The truth is, I never really had anything to begin with. All I ever really, truly possessed… was Him. There is a quiet rest that has overtaken me these days as I have pressed into the love of my Father more. I am only now beginning to realize, little by little, that my circumstances just don’t seem to determine my joy the way they used to.

Perhaps this is why my arrows still need to be re-fletched and my pipes are just a wee bit dusty these days.

One of the greatest deceptions that this generation has bought into, was that to live a life In Christ, would mean giving up the passions of ones’ heart. Nothing can be further from the truth.

He placed them there. When I play my pipes, it is never so sweet as when I am recognizing He is sitting next to me, enjoying His own gifts, expressed through His own friend. I do suppose this is why I long to sit with my true family more and more… just recline somewhere in a corner and enjoy them. Those of you that are afar off are thought of and loved more than you’ll ever know.

Herein lies the juxtaposition. The more we enter into His rest, the more we are truly free to be who we were designed to be, and the less drive I have to compete for any validation. My gifts are free.. I am free…. to just.. be. I am home in Him.

It may seem a bit stark in contrast with what is on the Lord’s heart for these days. Events are unfolding with alarming speed. Time truly is short… and yet we have all the time in the world in Him. And all the peace of that kingdom while we are yet still here.

It is with this in mind that I come to you all with the comfort and exhortation that seeking Him… is like nothing that can be substituted in the world.

He is our Treasure, our Peace, our all… if we let Him be so. If we let Him be…

Our home.

“All my fountains are in you.” Psalm 87:7

 NOTE: The related Study on this topic is found in this link: Understanding The Times Part 2  (CLICK HERE)

Understanding The Times: Looking back at Sept 11th.

I am going to share something that up until this week I have never shared outside my closest counsel… and that on one hand.

Let me preface this by saying, some of this may sound… odd at best. Let me also say that I hold NO experience of any kind on the same authority as the Word of God. God alone is our final authority. Jesus Christ is the only atonement for sins. He alone and His accomplished work on the cross is what allows us to be reconciled back to our Heavenly Father. The Holy Spirit can and will speak to us and move through us… but nothing we experience is to  re-define the Word of God. The Word alone is our final authority on any and all matters.

Though most who visit here are brothers and sisters whose lives and walk I am honored in one way or another to speak into, and many whom I have developed close personal relationships with, I am still compelled to share two things. First and foremost I am never offended when someone does not agree or believe what I share or hold as truth. Second.. and equally important, please.. feel free to ask me, question me, pull me aside in email, phone or in person and talk with me if something seems amiss. This is scriptural on so many levels.

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (Amos 3:3)

Humbly, I’ll begin.

In the days that followed the horrors of the Twin Towers destruction, I was quite angry with the Lord. Why was I not impressed upon to pray for my city, my near kinsman, my lost brothers and sisters? I had a lot of questions, and to be honest I was very… very angry.

And hurt.

“Lord, how did I miss this? Why wouldn’t you show me this? I am supposed to stand in the gap for this nation. You told me this many years ago. What the heck…?!” (truth be told… I was a bit more colorful…)

And so I prayed, and fasted and wept, and swore and cried some more. I was very…very angry.

And hurt.

Before I go on, I need to explain some things about the body of Christ. For almost the past year, I have shared here the scriptural truths that we are complete in His love. Please remember these truths.

How we function in the body of Christ is completely independent from our self-worth

Our value.. or worth, was established when we personally accepted the gift of Jesus’ atonement for our sin and received the Holy Spirit. We are complete. We are loved. We are cherished and adored with a fierce jealousy of love from our Lord.

To the degree that the body does not agree with these truths is the degree satan is permitted to use our darkened thinking to cause division and backbiting and slander in the body of Christ. He is doing a bang up job of it actually… but that time is drawing to a close.

At times the Lord will impress upon me to pray about specific things. This is scriptural.  We are commanded throughout the entire word of God to pray for our nation, our leaders, our brothers and our community. We are His ambassadors the word says (2 Cor 5:20).

How He communes with us, or how we are meant to be used as a part of His body has nothing to do with our worth. The church must come to understand we are already His righteousness. We are made complete. (2 Cor 5:27, Col 1:21, 2 Cor 5:21).  Please, decide to accept this for yourselves.

Back to my story.  I had not eaten for a couple days. I was depressed and sullen. I felt cut off and useless. The morning of 9/11 I could not even get to the city to help out utilizing any of my strengths that come out in those conditions. Reading about other civilians that did manage to sneak through and help only heightened my despondency and pain.

And so, one night during that following 2 weeks, I was headed to bed and with tears in my eyes asked the Lord once more where I had gotten off track. In a gentle sweet impression in my spirit I finally heard Him speak to me.

“David, this was not your assignment.”

I did not like that at all… nope, not one bit, but I was so broken in heart and mind at this point I almost didn’t care.

“Why not Lord. Have I been unfaithful in any way? I’ll repent…”

I was much younger in the Lord at the time, and He was still working out some issues with me in regard to knowing and understanding His nature. Things were much less clear to me when it came to what I will refer to as prayerful intercession.

Changing subjects a bit, He again spoke to me. In such love I could only cry. He began to share with me how the church is not prepared to answer the burning questions the lost will have. The fear, the anxiety, the trembling, the horror of an unknown future and living in evil times. The church was not prepared to give answers that would otherwise flow freely as a result of intimacy with our Savior. So I did the only dumb thing I could think of.

I asked him to show me the heart of the lost. I asked Him to let me feel what those who are lost  feel.

That was the end of the quiet conversation. I was dejected and weary and tired. I had many more questions that would be answered in the days and even years to come, but that night, I wanted nothing but to just sleep for a month. I went to bed.

Later that night I opened my eyes and found myself inside a dark chasm that I knew somehow was a section of a building. I was trapped inside rubble and all around me and above me.  I could hear screams coming from every direction. I didn’t know how I got there. I couldn’t even remember my name. I only knew I was trapped… and I knew I was going to die. From above me I could hear a terrible rumble as everything around me shook violently. My spirit felt as if it would leap outside my body out of pure terror. A terror that could be felt and possessed every single fiber of my being. My mind seemed to explode and I was trying to scream but the depth of terror prevented any words from escaping my mouth. The rumble was louder and louder, until it was absolutely deafening. Finally in those finals seconds, I felt the air and all matter around me collapse and condense under the weight of a black mass. I wanted to gouge my eyes out in fear and terror but there was no time. For the briefest moment, I felt every bone in my body pulverize under this weight, and then…I had memories of a family I do not know. I was thinking of a wife I did not have, and thought of my children that at the time, I was not father to. They were not my thoughts is the best way to describe it… seconds later I was crushed to death in utter darkness. I have no idea how long this went on for. Minutes, hours or days… I cannot tell. Then suddenly I opened my eyes and only then realized it was what I will call.. a dream.

I dry heaved… cried.. dry heaved some more and spent the next day or so mixing it up between pacing the floor, clawing at my face and lying in the fetal position. The Lord and I talked quite a bit during this time. This is how His creation feels. They are without hope. Without love. Without redemption.

Or so they believe.

They need the church to come down to them, reach out and grab a hold of them. That dreadful horrifying night for me, in each scenario, I knew I was alone, lost and beyond help. The world needs to know there is a great Rescuer. His name is Jesus.

In the ensuing weeks and months I watched another horror as I witnessed firsthand the “lost” going to church buildings, seeking out bible studies and asking Christians questions. The answers to their fears and longing went mostly unanswered. The church was asleep. True conversions and commitments to Christ in the following months and year showed no appreciable change. And why should it? What power of the gospel was moving in the church in America at the time? Where was our passion, our hope, our identity as a Redeemed child?

Note: God does not kill. When a nation turns from the law of Love, and the precepts of God’s nature, that nation allows demonic activity to attack that land. Sin kills. God heals.

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” ( 2 Chron 7:14)

It is God’s hand of protection that prevents the god of this world from entering in and fulfilling his plans to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10)

That Hand of divine protection will continue to lift away from this nation until the body of Christ prays, repents, confesses the sin of worldliness, and seeks to walk with the Lord according to His nature. He is holy. We are to live holy. We are NOT going to be perfect. It is a matter of the heart. “Holiness” is not a swear word. “Holiness” is not religion. “Holiness” is fellowship. It is a state of being that is identical in nature to the Lord Jesus Christ. Satan has deceived the church into thinking it is either an act of self righteous living to attain to, or it is something that God no longer cares about. 

Pastors were lightning quick to lull their congregations back to sleep with words of false security and false rest.  I visited a church fellowship one night to share the burden on my heart about the spiritual condition of the body of Christ, and how the lost need us to stand up and be a witness in these times. This country has turned her back on the morals and love for The word of God. The pastor saw me walk in and immediately began warning his congregation that anyone who says God has anything involvement in the towers falling is demonic. This is God’s nation.. We are God’s anointed. The enemy cannot touch us.

All half truths.. without balance..without discernment. Without love for the lost or the well-being of the flock. I left.

That’s OK. God had already impressed upon me not to go anyway. I was in disobedience that night…

The church has allowed this. We do not pray for our nation. We do not pray for our lost neighbors. We are not asking God to show us areas of our lives we are not living unto Him. We are not repentant toward willful sin. We do not have a hatred toward sin. God’s lost sheep, the world, those who have not accepted Christ, are dying and going to hell because of this.

We are called to understand the times.

The towers coming down was meant to be a wake up call for the church. Those who were shepherds were supposed to help usher the flock into the pasture of prayerful repentance and intercession.

Instead, we entered into national pride and arrogance.

“..who say with pride and arrogance of heart, “The bricks have fallen down, but we will rebuild with dressed stone; the fig trees have been felled, but we will replace them with cedars.” (Isa 9:9)

Does that sound familiar? It should. It was announced all throughout the country in the days that followed the tragedy.  God bless America. 

One of our Presidents, at ground zero wrote this, “We remember, We rebuild, We come back stronger!”

We forgot we are born-again Christians called to be a light to America. Instead we began to think of ourselves as Americans…who happen to be born-again.

“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, “ (Phil 3:20)

Have we forsaken this? Or were we never taught this truth?

September 11, is a sign for the church, not the lost. It is a reminder that we have yet to answer the call of our Redeemer’s heart to purify ourselves. He wants to commune with us. He longs to walk with us and share His heart with us. He desires to discuss plans on how His body is to redeem the world.

This country has, and will continue to be humbled and brought low through the following channels: politically, geo-physically, economically and socially.

This is NOT about works!  This is about union. This is NOT about religious piety. This is about allowing the love and purity of Christ to flow through us, to minister to the lost. This is a natural byproduct of us spending time with our first love. This is what we were created for! This is about love. (2 Cor 6:14, 1 John 1:16, Rom 12:2, 1 John 2:15-17, John 17:16)

The Father loves us so much he asked His son to die.

The Son loves his children so much He was tortured for us.

The Holy Spirit loves us so much He left heaven to make His dwelling place IN us.

I did not want to write this. I wanted to write on some other things the body of Christ needs encouragement in. But these are the times we live in. We must understand the times. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why the Lord worked it out so that my wedding anniversary is September 11th.  

He longs for his pure spotless bride. He longs for every part of you.  Things will continue to get tougher here in America. We, the church, get to decide when we will take our place as the ambassadors of heaven and walk in spirit and in truth with Him.

This country is waiting for us.


note: Very often It takes time to get some things the Lord is pressing upon our heart. They need to be attacked and viewed and mediated on from different angles. I will be writing on this more.

Please look at the related messages again (links below):

LINK: “And The Rockets Red Glare…”

LINK: “The Great Pruning