To Enter In…

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”  

Mark 12:30-21

I was standing on top of a map of the United States. Thick, dark lines criss-crossed the expanse of the nation, and I understood them to be the paths I would one day sojourn. Suddenly, I was inside this map, standing at a four-way crossroads. A wave of sorrow unexpectedly filled my being and I began to cry deep, guttural sobs, until I finally thought to ask the Lord for some relief. Kneeling in the middle of the dirt intersection that was already soaking up my tears, I stood, forcing my eyes to squint and focus in a cloudless midday.

The signs at each of the intersections were the old fashioned wooden sort, each shaped in the form of an arrow, bleached and cracked from a strong southwest sun I somehow knew I was enduring.

I turned east and saw a sign that read “CHURCH” pointing in the direction of the road which could be seen stretching toward an arid, sparse horizon. I slowly looked toward the westward road, and saw its road-sign pointing in the opposite direction.

“LOVE” it read.

And so it was that as I was pondering this dream all day while running errands, that I asked the Lord to give me a greater revelation of His love for me. More than that, I asked to see those that I might meet through my Father’s eyes, and above all… with Father’s heart.

It was a long day.

I was weary. The sun was now fading, and thoughts turned toward both my wife’s comforting smile, and the joyful embrace of my three children who, without exception, would race to beat each other down the hallway to enter into my arms.

Turning to leave the auto-parts store, I saw a mother and her grown daughter sitting in a car next to mine. In the backseat, a baby boy looked deeply into my eyes. His name was Evan… and Evan needed someone to intervene on his behalf.

As often occurs, a faint, soft and gentle song in my spirit could be heard, and I began to feel their hearts. The Lord of the Dance was in motion. He was asking if I would enter in.

Then… I saw. The pain of a 5 year old, lying in a muddy mess on a dirt driveway, staring up at a dad who spat curses down on him with a demonically-inspired and equally contorted face. I saw that same 5 year old, now filling the clothes of a man, himself a father. Still just as muddy, but now with a dirt that can only wash off one way. He was without love. Without reconciliation. I also saw the wounding of a mother. One having never received from her own what was needed. A child… born into all that brokenness. I saw little Evan raising his own family, passing on the one thing he intuitively was able to believe.  An endless circle, and a family that long ago lost track of what generation first began to draw it… and that circle would continue. Around and around…. without end.

So… I entered in.

“I am usually not so direct, so forgive me… but I have a relationship with my Heavenly-Father.  Your baby. Would you be offended if I just prayed and asked for the love of Jesus to guard his heart and minister peace and healing to him. I know that sounds odd. I’d like to pray for his father as well. Actually, may I pray for all of you?”

At that, mother and daughter looked at each other, and began to cry. The daughter buried her head.

They spoke to me about the child’s father, about the abuse. They spoke of fear and pain and of an uncertain future. They spoke. They spoke to a complete stranger. They spoke to a “neighbor.” They didn’t need to though. Dad was already showing me how much He was interested in this family.  

I touched the grandmother’s shoulder as tears streamed down my own face. Holding out my index finger, I silently motioned for them to just give me a moment. Then, clearing my throat, I prayed. I introduced them to my Lord, the God of peace, and miracles and restoration.

I find many emotions stir within me as I receive the different feedback from the Body when I choose to rarely share my interactions with Dad’s lost. I will get a varied degree of affirmation and “likes” depending on whether I am talking about loss, brokenness, suffering, healing, dreams, intercession etc…This makes sense, I suppose.  We all have our areas we relate most to our own walk with Father-God.  

But… the common denominator in any and all topics that genuinely touch His heart though, must be love. If we cannot see Love in every facet of what He is doing, we need to press in further to His heart.

“Because of the increase of wickedness,

the love of most will grow cold,” 

Mat 4:12

The Church no longer talks much about how to grow in our intimacy with Him. Oh, we do talk about many things these days that have a form of intimacy, but true union is reflected in our life emanating with the abiding nature of Jesus Christ flowing through us. Is this really the motive behind so many of our discussions…?

We live in a generation where the wickedness of the lost (who need the Church) has infiltrated the body of Christ to such a degree we have become overrun by their own demonic and dead mindsets. We have allowed ourselves to be wounded by other Christians. We slander and are slandered. We talk only of what is wrong. We seek to be entertained. We seek to find worth in signs and wonders and power… or in our own pain.

The Lord is calling His church to enter into an intimacy that heals all wounds, forgives all offenses, thinks the best, motivates to holiness, and reaches down to snatch those from the fire. We can only do this as an outflow of His love flowing from within us.  If we are more in touch with our own grief and sorrow and loneliness and the ways we have been wronged by other “Christians” we need to cry out for a greater revelation of His love for us. If we are seeking to find worth in spiritual encounters, visitations, or some new, exciting expression of the kingdom more than seeking intimacy in Him for the sake of His desire to commune with us… we have forsaken our First Love.  The generational fallout is, we are not much capable of loving as He loves- our family, our “neighbors”, our harvest fields….

In short… pray for me, those who would care to. Pray that I may know Him. If I have ever touched any of your hearts… as we all should, I ask you lift me up in prayer, that I will not falter in my desire to grasp how wide and deep is His love for me… and for His church… and His lost.

As for my prayers? Shall we not all seek to know His love; to experience the Hand of God Himself touch us and water the soil of our soul? Each passing encounter, if we allow it, will drive the nails of His love deeper and deeper into our own being.  Do we not realize the crucifixion was Love? The same love that fastened His Son will allow us, if we yield, to finally enter into that same crucifixion. That we may live as He lives eternally. A vessel of holiness and love. A vessel that gives the kingdom as Jesus did.

“But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus,And who is my neighbor?'”

Luke 10:29

These small experiences I share are not about me. None of this is about me. It’s about the Love of our Lord. It’s about Him. It is all… about Him…and His love that fuels every desire that is on His heart.

Happy Holy Days, Family (such as they may be found)

16 thoughts on “To Enter In…

  1. Brother David,

    That family was exactly the reason the word of knowledge was given to us by Abba – not for grandstands or stadiums filled with spectators who will love us as long as we have a word for them – or knock us off the very pedestals they build for us if we fail them.

    It’s hard to see through the tears to type this, but keep your tender heart, and thank you for returning Evan’s searching gaze – and for looking within for Jesus’ take on the family’s situation. This is why we have love, this is why we have a testimony. Jesus is for the weak, the humble, the broken, the diseased, the cast-off – the misfits who don’t fit into the prosperous, decorated livery and lifestyle of the self-congratulatory masses. I look backward with sorrow, wishing someone had looked into the eyes of my brothers and sisters and taken such a risk – perhaps the three that died much too young would still be living, even living for Christ. Forgive me, because I cannot deny the touchstone here.

    When my first brother died at 17 I had to read about it in the paper. I was torn up. I had tried to tell him of Jesus’ love, but he was too far gone down our mother’s path. When my second brother died at 17 – murdered – I had led him to Jesus, watched him receive water baptism, and had tried in my own broken way to show him that love of Jesus as I could understand it, but I failed to write to him enough and then it was too late. I was forbidden to pay last respects.

    When my sister of 25 years disappeared after trying to suicide, having abortions, and breaking her neck in a bar fight, I was mystified because I had tried to take her in, but I could not understand her kind of brokenness. She has been missing, presumed dead, for 34 years.

    I finally stopped asking God “WHY???!!!!!”. I gave up on trying to know. I reasoned that if only Daddy had lived, and not died when I was 14, then maybe things would have turned out differently for all of us. I realized that only Jesus could possibly fix what was broken, and since I couldn’t have them back again, I would stop saying WHY and start asking WHAT??? WHAT can I do so that the young people I come into contact with never have to lose hope again. HOW can I show your love? HOW can I make it so that my own sibs didn’t die in vain?

    That was many years ago. I’ve had a long string of failures since then. I’ve also had a long list of folks, young and old, who have come and gone from my household while I tried to give them what I could from my brokenness. Some are okay today. Some are not., Some are gone from my sight and I don’t know if it made any difference at all.

    Yet… the older I get, the younger I am in understanding of what Jesus’ love is truly about. It’s not always about seeing a need and filling it – not materially anyway. Sometimes it is about doing exactly what you did – risking a beating if Evan’s dad came out and saw you praying over his family. It is taking in a young woman with a baby and having her deranged husband follow your brother until he finds out where you live so he can come and hold a gun on your family until he gets his woman out of your house and takes her back – a woman who later accuses you of things you couldn’t even conceive of doing after she goes back to her abuser. It is really seeing yourself up on that cross with Jesus, knowing that it is the only way you can really find the beginning of love – knowing that everything else is going to spring from that terrible, awe-filled, glorious place, or it is not going to happen at all. What is a beating, after all, if it is received for the right reasons? It makes all other beatings pale in importance.

    Agh… I’ve said way too much, but I would not deny you the blessing of knowing that sharing one small act of obedience, love and kindness has had more of an effect than you knew.

    Keep being His love to all the misfits. In the end we will rise up and call you blessed.

    Sis Cate

    Liked by 1 person

    • It truly is amazing to see the love of God minister and invade the kingdom of darkness… GOD is so amazing to use vessels that are such a mess (such as myself) 🙂 HE is that big… and faithful in His love and grace.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: To Enter In… – Cate N Friends

  3. Merry Christmas David in our Savior’s Name! Again, thank you for your passion and desire in serving our Lord, sharing with us what He’s doing, and for yielding to His Spirit. I’m giving thanks to Him for your courage in obeying Him even when we may not always understand Him, even when the situation may make us feel uncomfortable or even create an awkward moment. God is constantly speaking and working. The Lord Jesus Christ is always about His Father’s business; as should we. As believers, what we do must always be in His Name; centering around Him. God is Love and His love never fails. Your story is a classic demonstration of 1 Corinthians 13. This family experienced the love of God more than anything else. I’ll be praying for them.

    Thank you and may God continue to shower you and your family with His love, wisdom, and blessings David!!!

    I’m My Brothers Keeper,

    E. Gabriel

    Liked by 2 people

    • My dear brother,

      You encourage me more than you may know… your love for the Lord and desire to see Him expressed not only thru you but unto all the world is a great encouragement to me. Your depth of character spurns me on to see His face more and more clearly.

      Thank you for your gift of friendship.

      I am my brothers keeper indeed.

      D

      Like

  4. You have an amazing heart, David, and a remarkable gift for empathy. I was reminded of an old Star Trek episode about an empath. In order to use her gift of healing, she must learn to take on the suffering of others.

    This is what Christ did for us. He took not only our sins but our pain onto Himself. By His stripes we were healed (Isa. 53: 5).

    Your sister,
    A.

    Like

    • Oh Anna… in earnest pray for me as I come to mind and you are led.

      Pray I can see His creation the way He does… pray for me; for more love to flow thru to others and a greater revelation of His love for me.

      p.s. I know that episode. LOL.. huge fan of the original series.

      Thank you, Anna.

      Like

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