I am more reserved these days.
I tend to be a bit more quiet as I go about the day both in and outside my house. I always wanted a large piece of property that would be a safe haven for the weary traveler.. even if that traveler lived a town over.
I envisioned huge expanses of grass and trees and a border set way back from the road, barefoot on a field where trees and plants and things that grow are closest to my heart. This is when I am most able to make sense of the madness I see around me.
When I am not pulling back my hunting bow or striking in the bagpipes that is.
Those who know me,however, could not call me a tree-hugger I don’t believe, and if a three hundred year old oak means my loved ones not losing toes… its coming down. (My apologies for being real 🙂
These days though, as I look back on the convictions of my youth, my vigor, my ambitions.. my desires… a long exhale cannot be helped as I look around me. So many things are not what I had imagined.. so many things have changed.
I do not yet possess that “perfect” property, and work competes for the time I would most certainly rather be spending sitting around a cozy fire in my backyard with family. A cigar languidly transitioning between hand and mouth. The picture perfect conditions needed to assure my worldly rest are far from me. Even Christians must strive for this, the fallen system teaches and mandates.
But more than ever, His peace is upon me. I find the irony of this… amusing.
The truth is, I never really had anything to begin with. All I ever really, truly possessed… was Him. There is a quiet rest that has overtaken me these days as I have pressed into the love of my Father more. I am only now beginning to realize, little but little, that my circumstances just don’t seem to determine my joy the way they used to.
Perhaps this is why my arrows still need to be re-fletched and my pipes are just a wee bit dusty these days.
One of the greatest deceptions that this generation has bought into, was that to live a life In Christ, would mean giving up the passions of ones’ heart. Nothing can be further from the truth.
He placed them there. When I play my pipes, it is never so sweet as when I am recognizing He is sitting next to me, enjoying His own gifts, expressed through His own friend. I do suppose this is why I long to sit with my true family more and more… just recline somewhere in a corner and enjoy them. Those of you that are afar off are thought of and loved more than you’ll know.
Herein lies the juxtaposition. The more we enter into His rest, the more we are truly free to be who we were designed to be, and the less drive I have to compete for any validation. My gifts are free.. I am free…. to just.. be. I am home… in Him.
It may seem a bit stark in contrast with what is on the Lord’s heart for these days. Events are unfolding with alarming speed. Time truly is short… and yet we have all the time in the world in Him. And all the peace of that kingdom while we are yet still here.
It is with this in mind that I come to you all with the comfort and exhortation that seeking Him… is like nothing that can be substituted in the world.
He is our treasure, our Peace, our all… if we let Him be so. If we let Him be.
“All my fountains are in you.“ Psalm 87:7